AFE Families Still Hospitalized

Spouses and family members can spend precious hours providing updates to others. Instead, designate one person to be the director of all connections. Determine the most effective and efficient way to communicate with others.
We recommend using the website to communicate your loved one’s condition and highlight the family’s needs. There are FREE and EASY-to-use website templates for those facing a medical crisis.

Helpful items to include on a website are:

• Daily updates
• Photos
• Prayer requests or spiritual assistance
• Meals
• Flowers
• Monetary donations

Be sure to also include whether you would like visitors and list those times. Priority should be rest for the patient as well as the family. Consider having a guestbook for well-wishers to leave messages of hope and comfort rather than visiting. The guestbook has proven to be helpful during the recovery process.

• Listed below are groups where you can centralize health updates and meal plans.
  Caring Bridge
  Lotsa Helping Hands

It can be extremely challenging to manage the care of your loved one in addition to caring for a newborn child. If the baby’s condition is stable they will most likely remain in the NICU or nursery for observation. Talk to the baby’s healthcare team to have them admitted for observation while your loved one remains in the hospital.

Due to COVID, some hospitals may still limit access to the baby. Consider the option to have one person in charge of the baby’s care and one person in charge of the mother’s care. It will be important to have that person attend all physicians’ consults. This will be especially important if the baby suffered problems during delivery.

Many people will want to see and visit the baby once they are discharged. Please consider the mother’s feelings and be mindful of passing germs or illness to the baby or other children. Respiratory Syncytial Virus or RSV can cause serious illness in infants under 12 months. It is important to balance being helpful with childcare and keeping children healthy.

Discuss feeding options with the NICU and postpartum staff. Depending on the baby’s condition, they typically begin with IV fluids and then transition to formula. If mama had planned on breastfeeding, she still may be able to once she becomes stable. Even if the baby is given formula the mother may still be able to successfully breastfeed. Once she is able, she may begin to pump her breast milk and breastfeed once medications have cleared her system. This is a delicate decision and should be made for the mother’s intentions and in the best interest for her health. It is okay to encourage the mother to breastfeed if she is able. It is also important to assure and comfort her if she is not able or desires not to breastfeed. The most important priority should be on the mother and baby’s health and their ability to bond.

If conditions allow, the baby may spend time with the mother in ICU. If this is not possible be sure to take pictures and video of the baby for the mother. It can be a sad experience for the mother not to have seen or spent time with her newborn. Photos and videos will help bridge this gap. It is recommended to have photos of older children, pets or other memorable photos in her room.

If the baby is released before mom, identify people who will help the father with the baby. Keep in mind that it will be disappointing for the mother to not be the primary caregiver. Choosing someone who is respectful of these feelings is essential. Maintain a daily log of their activities and milestones and take a lot of photos and videos. These will prove helpful during the mother’s recovery.

Be sure to add the baby to the health insurance policy. This is important to do as soon as possible to avoid any medical billing issues. Be sure to provide the hospital with the updated information.

The emotions and needs of older children will vary depending on the children’s age. Confusion and fear are the most common emotions older children will experience. Older children can feel sad, isolated, angry and alone. It is important to keep their routine as normal as possible. You may have them stay with a close relative or friend. This could limit their exposure to the stress of the situation.

Consider asking friends to give gifts to older siblings instead of for the new baby. New toys, games, books or videos may provide a welcome distraction.

Hospital social workers may be a helpful source of advice. They should be able to provide resources to assist with explaining the situation to the child.

Those interacting with the child (daycare providers, teachers, etc) to be aware of the situation. Children may manifest their stress in unexpected ways. This could include regression in potty training, unusual tantrums, anger, withdrawal, difficulty napping, etc. It is important that they understand the situation and are able to respond empathetically.

Write things down so there will be a record of what happened while the mother was in the hospital. Keep a detailed journal of your loved ones daily activities and thoughts. Write about the days or hours before the delivery as most survivors will have memory loss. Include the names of all healthcare providers you may come across. These will be important for future reference to address concerns or offer notes of appreciation. Keep the journal by the bed, so it can be accessed. Electronic tablets or iPads are great tools to help document the event.

Have the important clinical details of your care all in one place!

Our AFE Survivor Clinical Summary is a two-page editable PDF document. It is designed to summarize aspects of your care to assist you in insight of what happened to your body.

You can ask your OBGYN, Midwife, or another primary healthcare provider to help you complete it. Most can access your medical records and complete a good portion of the form. If they are unable to help you, you may use this as a guide when reviewing your medical records.

The summary form serves as a great way to inform other healthcare providers in the continuity of your care. These can be follow-up visits with specialists or mental health providers. It aims to minimize the triggers with retelling the event. It gives healthcare providers a quick and simple format to get up to speed on what you experienced.

General errands can be given to others after your loved one is hospitalized. Have someone make a list of the essentials you need. Consider snacks for other children, toiletries or anything else your family may need.