November 4th, 2003, was a day filled with excitement and anticipation for our family. My only sister, Becky, was scheduled to deliver her 2nd child by C-Section early that morning, and we were all so excited for little Riley to arrive. My sister and her family lived in Kennedale, Texas, and only my mother was able to travel there for the birth. I spoke to Becky the day before, around 1 PM Arizona time, and we talked about what time I would be able to talk to her after the delivery in the morning. We usually ended our calls with just goodbye (just how our family does it ), but for some reason, I felt the need to end that day by saying “I love you,” and Becky responded, “love you too.” I had no way of knowing that that would be the last time I ever spoke to my baby sister again!
The morning of the 4th, I remember getting annoyed that it was now after 10 am my time and no one had called me yet. I called my mom’s cell phone and left a message about what was taking so long. About 30 minutes later, my mom called me, and when I said hello, the first thing out of her mouth was “Tammy, sit down, baby, sit down.” I kept saying no. My mom then proceeded to tell me, “We lost her, Tam, we lost Becky”. Becky had suffered what we would learn was an Amniotic Fluid Embolism 17 minutes after Riley was delivered.
I could go on for pages about what happened next to my family, but the short version for me was lots of screaming, “No, no, women don’t die having babies anymore,” along with other physical and emotional things. I wish I could say I do not remember some of what happened in the hours, days, weeks, months, and years after that fateful day, but I can! I remember every single thing and relive it over and over in my mind like a movie, even after 13 years.
Both of Becky’s girls are now in their teen years – Riley is perfect and is the spitting image of her mother. She just made her JR High Cheer team ( just like her mom ) and Paxtynn is now 16 and in HS and pursuing her dream of becoming a Veterinarian!
Becky was a loving and caring mother, sister, and friend who would always go out of her way to do special things for family, friends, and causes she believed in. Becky was not only my baby sister but my only sister, and not having her here to share the good and bad times of life is something I just cannot explain except to another sister, less sister! Our family started a memorial dance scholarship in Becky’s name at her high school. The $500 sent one deserving dancer to dance camp each year at different locations across the country. Becky’s former dance teacher made the selection and looked for someone who was as dedicated to dance and cheer as Becky was.
I will never know how my mom made it through this nightmare, and she is not the same mom we had before this event, but she is one of the strongest women I know!
In 2003, there was little information, and it took me a while to find an AFE support group, but what the AFE Foundation has done for all of the families now is unbelievable, and together we can one day identify a cause and hopefully prevent future deaths from this silent killer we call AFE!
